laratopia.

because sometimes it's easier to say, "i hate you," than "i miss you, i wish we didn't fight; i wish you would call me sometimes." because sometimes, it's easier to think, screw life, screw school, screw everything, than admit that you’re overwhelmed and feel like you're drowning. because sometimes, it’s easier to admit the simple things than say the hard things and realise how much you’ve been struggling, and how much you feel as if life has gone out of your control

xstarstruckk:

almostmoon:(via olive-you)

hmmm.

i turned on the tv this morning and pump up the volume was on.

as i watched, i realized that media has really really helped me get through everything that has happened in my life.

heathers, pump up the volume, buffy the vampire slayer, death cab for cutie, jimmy eat world, ben harper, the cure, counting crows, dmb.

= therapy

words. seeing and hearing other people’s worlds. realizing that i wasn’t alone in what i was feeling, despite the fact that i was going thru stuff no one around me seemed to have to deal with

Year in cities

Los Angeles, CA

Santa Monica, CA

Palm Springs, CA

San Diego, CA

Pasadena, CA

Santa Barbara, CA

Washington, DC

Burke, VA

Clifton, VA

Las Vegas, NV

Atlanta, GA

Kansas City, MO

Kansas City, KS

Cincinnati, OH

Bah Humbug 25 Questions about Xmas

markbean:

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper.
2. Real tree or Artificial? REAL!!!!
3. When do you put up the tree? sometime in december.
4. When do you take the tree down? January 6th
5. Do you like eggnog? ewww
6. Favorite gift received as a child? Pink Barbie Convertible. Ask my brother what he did to it.
7. Hardest person to buy for? Me because i am the reason the economy is as GOOD as it is right now.
8. Easiest person to buy for? Jeffrey and Joey: busted tees and they are psyched.
9. Do you have a nativity scene? No.
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? I did them last year, just failed to mail them…oops.
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? pouppori
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Love Actually
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? A week before Xmas.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Sigh, yes.
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Iced Santa Cookies
16. Lights on the tree? Clear lights, but if it is a silver mylar tree, then purple lights.
17. Favorite Christmas song? All i want for christmas is you
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Go home.
19. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer’s? Yes.
20. Angel or star on top of the tree? A star: Elvis.
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Pajamas christmas eve, the rest christmas morning.
22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? The lines.
23. Favorite ornament theme or color? My guitars, guns, skulls, and bombs (my tree rocks!)
24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Stuffing.
25. What do you want for Christmas this year? Job security.

stare-at-walls:

juliaallison:

“When you love someone, you do not love them all the time in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet, this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of time and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible in life, as in love, is in growth, in fluidity in freedom. The only real security is not owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what it was, nor forward to what it might be, but living in the present and accepting it as it is now. For relationships, too, must be like islands. One must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits islands surrounded and interrupted by the sea, continuously visited and abandoned by the tides. Once must accept the serenity of the winged life, ebb and flow, of intermittency.”


- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

love imprint.

juliaallison:

“We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It’s easy. The first girl I ever loved was someone I knew in sixth grade. Her name was Missy; we talked about horses. The last girl I love will be someone I haven’t even met yet, probably. They all count.

But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you’ll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years.

But there’s still one more tier to all this; there is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of these loveable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable.

The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really, want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.”

— Killing Yourself to Live: 85% of a True Story, Chuck Klosterman

I agree with that all, until the very end, when Klosterman says that he or she - the person who defines what “love” is for you - wins and you lose. I don’t believe that to be true. There is no “winning” or “losing,” unless they were truly monsters - but even then, even if you’ve had a love life riddled with chaos and heartbreak (and I’ve had those moments), why should you allow one person to define what love means to you? Beyond that, why should your optimism and belief in love not to remain unmitigated?

If you’ve loved once, you’ll love again. It’s a choice, I think. You choose to open yourself up to it or you choose not to … but either way, it’s under your control. Things won’t always work out the way you might like, but I suppose that’s part of the deal. Whenever a relationship I’m in ends, I remind myself that one of the most delicious parts of life is not knowing what’s to come.

“The last girl I love will be someone I haven’t even met yet, probably.”

That, puppies, is hope.

bored.

whats​ your name?​
lara


And you’​​re how old?
31


Did it rain today​?​​
Nope


Do you have a littl​e siste​r?​​
1/2 sis. 5 years old


Do you like Taylo​r Swift​?​​
nope



Do you like to liste​n to the radio​ when you’​​re in the car?
on occasion





Tell me a fact about​ the last perso​n that texte​d you:
shes my favorite ginger kid.



When’​​s the last time you ate at Taco Bell?​​
high school?



Have you ever been to New York?​​
lived there.





Do you like to wear flip-​​flops​?​​
part of my uniform.






What is your favor​ite salad​ dress​ing?​​
balsamic vinagrette







Have you ever been to Disne​y World​?​​
yuppers. all the time as a kid





Think​ of your first​ kiss.​.​.
Was it sweet​ or was it awkwa​rd​?​​
it was in a game of truth or dare in my basement. i guess it was sweet and awkward.





Have you ever broke​n anyth​ing becau​se you were mad?
yes.






Do you like weari​ng headb​ands?​​
yep





What was the last thing​ you ate?
pomegranate seeds.




Do you like the song Crush​ by David​ Archu​leta?​
nope.




Do you write​ in cursi​ve or print​?​​
curint.




Who were you with the last time you went to the movie​ theat​er?​​
alex




When’​​s the last time you had an Oreo?​​
last time i had one—months ago. last time i wanted one? yesterday


Do you have a frien​d named​ Ashle​y?​​
yup


Do you like Chris​ Brown​?​​
i like forever.




Have you ever eaten​ at Chick​-​​fil-​​a?​​
best fast food establishment in history.





Did you wake up befor​e 8am this morni​ng?​​
that’s funny.





Are you thirs​ty?​​
always.






When’​​s the last time you ate spagh​etti?​​
3 nites ago.




Do you and your best frien​d share​ cloth​es?​​
yup.






Is fall your favor​ite seaso​n?​​
yup. though in la we don’t really have a fall





What did you do today​?​​
woke up, walked the dog. bought wine.





Where​ will you be 12 hours​ from now?
drinking/recovering from a tryptophan coma.






Have you ever been in a tanni​ng bed?
yup.



What are you going​ to do tomor​rrow?​​
recovering from today



Where​ do you wish you were right​ now?
in nova with the fam.




Does anyon​e hate you for no reaso​n?​​
i am sure someone does.


What was the first​ thing​ you thoug​ht this morni​ng?​​
sweet. no hangover.


How is your day so far?
nothing spectacular.

Do you want to go to colle​ge?​​
i did.


Whats​ your favor​ite seaso​n?​​
fall.


When was the last time you cried​ and the reaso​ns?​​
being sick last week



Have you ever talke​d to someo​ne when they were high?​
more than i would care to admit.